I’ve been an adult for 22 years, but the pain from childhood is still as strong as ever. My mother is a narcissist; to what extent, I’m not sure. I just know that the way she treated me caused me a lot of pain. As adults, we tend to push the pain away, distracting ourselves with anything that will keep our minds busy and distracted, but the pain is there. It’s always there and needing to have constant distraction causes stress. Our minds need rest. Our hearts need healing. Many of us feel stressed and don’t realize why. We work to meet the expectations of others, because we were never given the chance to be ourselves and trust what we think. Parents who don’t meet our emotional needs and are too critical, give us the message that we aren’t good enough the way we are. They weren’t compassionate when we didn’t behave well or needed something. They felt a need to belittle us to feel good enough.
I’ve noticed that narcissism is a common theme in our society. Many people are not gentle and kind and patient unless they get something out of it, which is just fake. Narcissism is a condition that gets passed on from generation to generation. The more sensitive people have more self awareness and are greatly disturbed by ignoring their pain. People who are less sensitive can be productive, but not always kind, so they seem fine in general.
I’ve been figuring out how to heal the pain and I thought I’d share it with you. Compassion is the key here. Get in a comfortable position. Is your body comfortable? Is your environment quiet? Breathe. Listen to your breath. Relax. What feelings come up? If you can feel the pain, try to imagine where it’s coming from inside of you. How old is the child feeling it? It’s you in there. What is the child scared of? Can you give the child what your parent couldn’t give you? Imagine your adult self is there showing compassion for your inner child, giving them kindness and love, whatever they need in that moment. If they need distance, just listen to them. Invite them to talk and tell them why you are there. Explain that mom or dad had issues and it wasn’t their fault. Tell them they are safe now, that you can protect them. Be there with them as long as you feel it’s necessary. Breath. Keep doing this everyday until the pain is lessened or gone.
lifeiscomplicated2 